What To Wear?

There are tomes written on what brides and grooms can and should wear on their big day. Bridesmaid fashion comes in second in terms of sheer volume written, with groomsman attire bringing up the rear. Okay, but what about guests? How are guests to know what to wear to the weddings they get invited to? Not to mention that there are daytime weddings, nighttime weddings, formal, informal, and semiformal weddings! Certain rules do apply, and following them can certainly make your life easier, but there's also a certain ease that comes with disregarding the rules! So, play it by ear, and feel free to tailor what you wear to the situation *and* your taste.

DAYTIME
A rule of thumb for day is to dress as you would for any other social event held at the hour and during the season of the wedding. For example, if it's a spring brunch or luncheon, a pretty suit or floral dress would be appropriate for women. Pants are fine for weddings, too -- a pantsuit, tailored trousers, or palazzo pants are comfortable as well as stylish; in the winter, velvet pants with a silk blouse would match the festive tone of a wedding, and velvet works equally well for daytime and evening.

The one thing you probably *don't* want to wear a lot of for a daytime wedding is black. Cocktail-type dresses just aren't daywear, and more importantly, wearing black in the sun will just make you hot! White may also be a no-no (see below).

For men, daytime weddings in the spring or summer call for light-colored suits. Options include linen or seersucker. In cooler months, wool suits and darker colors like navy blue and charcoal gray are the way to go.

EVENING
Depending on how formal the wedding is (you can usually tell this from the formality of the invitation and/or where the wedding is being held), the dress code is cocktail dresses for women and darker suits (or tuxedos, if it's a black-tie affair), for men. Or, women can wear a dressy suit or nice dress. Don't wear anything too flashy -- sequins are probably a no-no, unless it's in Vegas -- and remember that if the ceremony is at a religious site, you don't want to show too much skin, either (i.e., shoulders should be covered).

For an evening wedding, a dress is one of the easiest ways to go. Whereas black used to be taboo for weddings, these days a black dress is perfect for evening nuptials, just as it is for a night at the opera. A black cocktail dress or a long, slim black dress in silk or velvet is perfect at a black-tie wedding. If black's not your thing, think about a colorful column dress that's classic and easy.

Unless it's a snowball wedding (where bridesmaids, mothers, and flower girls all wear white, and it is considered okay for guests to wear white), it's generally not good form for women to wear white to weddings -- in the evening OR daytime. In the same vein, try to avoid off-white and ivory, if at all possible. Basically, you just want to make sure you're not stealing the bride's thunder. If all you've got is that little cream dress, put it on and look in the mirror. Will you be competing with the bride by wearing it? Use your judgment.

For men, a formal evening wedding will require a tuxedo. "Black Tie" is often printed on the invitation, but you will not often see "White Tie" (which requires men to wear white vest, white shirt, and white bow tie, with tails). If this is the attire it is usually spread by word of mouth.

And so it goes. Remember, you want to look great, dress in a festive manner befitting the situation, and be comfortable, but in the end all eyes will be on the couple. So relax, and wear what feels good to you!